My Hope
by twilightobsessed1415
Summary: It's Rosalie and Emmett's wedding,again. Edward's POV. Before Twilight. What is Edward thinking? More importantly, could this day be more special for Edward then the others? Why? R&R please


A/N This is a oneshot I came up with randomly...I could be persuaded to write from different POV's, if people like it. Review please!

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Stephenie. Everything.

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You'd think the worst part of immortality was school. Endless years of high school. But no, that came second to only one. Well, for me anyway. The worst part is weddings.

We'd been staying in Montana for a while, Emmett liked the grizzlies. I was a senior, with Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett were in college. A couple months ago, Emmett proposed to Rosalie. _Again._

And of course, Rosalie accepted, and here we are. It was just us, of course. Despite how hard we, and by we I mean Carlisle, tried to fit in, humans just stayed away. I had no problem with it. They should.

I had to give Alice and Rosalie props, though. With every wedding, it got more beautiful and extravagant. It was at our house, obviously, and Alice had covered the entire house in yellow lights, which I had thought didn't exist, but Alice found a way. She always did. I looked over at Alice, but she was looking at Jasper with smiling eyes. Ugh.

Right now, I was just trying to block out Rosalie and Emmett thoughts. For that matter, I was trying to block out everyone's thoughts. They would surely be about their own significant other, standing across from them. That I really didn't want to hear.

I listened to Carlisle's words, instead; many years ago he had gotten a wedding license, for this exact reason. The words were nice, fluff, and stomach-twistingly happy. I almost grimaced, but Alice probably would have bitten my head off. I was silently laughing at my small joke, when I lost concentration and their thoughts came through.

_Wow, Alice looks so beautiful, Rosalie too, and Esme. We should have weddings more often!_

That was Jasper. I knew he was being affected by the emotions and was trying not to show it. I almost snickered. Poor Jasper.

_I'm always surprised at how nervous I am! Emmett looks so handsome, I love him so much. Tonight is going….._

I blocked Rosalie's thought out as quickly as I could. They knew I could hear them! It couldn't be _that_ hard to control your thoughts. But I had been telling them this for decades. It never worked. I didn't understand love.

_Edward? _

It was Alice. Her face and smile were now at Rosalie, but I knew a she was talking to me. I slightly inclined my head toward her to show I was listening.

_One day this is going to be you. I know it. You may have given up, but I haven't. You will find her, probably where you least expect it. _

I sighed, very quietly. Why couldn't Alice get that I didn't want this, this overly emotional thing that was love for them. I hoped to whatever higher power vampires had that this would never be me. Not me with the soft look in his eyes, like Emmett.

Wait, soft!? I opened up to his thoughts.

_How could I be so lucky? How could we all be so lucky? To have someone to talk to, love, someone who knows us for who we are. We must have souls, Carlisle's right. If I didn't have a soul, I don't think I could ever love. That must be why Edward doesn't believe it. He doesn't have someone. _

Emmett's thoughts hurt. I knew he thought I had blocked him out, but was that what they all thought? That I believed we didn't have a soul because I had never loved anyone?! That was crazy. Emmett should know better. They all should.

But the stupid small voice in my head spoke up. I hadn't heard from it in a while. And it made me think. It was true I had never seen love for myself. I'd seen it in plays, books, movies, and with my siblings, but never with me. Sure, many a woman, human and vampire, had tried. I still cringed as Tanya appeared in my head. Ugh.

But none of them I had ever felt anything for, other than annoyance. Emmett and Jasper had described what seeing their loves had been like, like seeing the light. I snorted internally. They said seeing them was like seeing hope.

Nothing like that had ever happened to me. And I doubted it ever would.

Carlisle asked for the rings. I dutifully doled them out, and Emmett smiled at me. I turned to Rosalie, and she did too.

This was what love did to people. Made them forget who they were. Rosalie had hated us, tried to kill herself more than once after she was turned, until she found Emmett. Sure, she was still a pain in the ass, but she had Emmett to calm her down.

The voice: Would that be such a bad thing?

Me: Yes!

The voice: But aren't you the always cynical one, the dark one who everyone extra stays away from? Don't you want to change that?

Me: No. Well. Perhaps. I don't know.

The voice: Well you should know. As long as you don't maybe there's hope for you yet.

The wedding was over. Everyone was thinking happy thoughts as Emmett and Rose led the march out. Carlisle and Esme followed then Alice and Jasper, then me.

Alone.

_One of these years, Edward. Trust me. _

But even Alice sounded a little doubtful. And she never did. I just had to stay away from weddings. Being alone wasn't that bad, was it?

The voice: Yes, it is.

Me: Well don't hold your breath. Well, I guess you could, but it would get annoying.

As we walked outside, Alice turned to me. I hadn't heard her thoughts, since I was talking to myself.

_Did you just decide something? I saw something. A flicker of someone. _

"Someone? Who?" I whispered. Not hoping, just wondering. Voice: Yeah. Right.

_I don't know. Just that you would feel something strong for her. And that she was coming. _

I sighed, and walked inside. I wouldn't let myself hope. It never worked.

I looked at Emmett and Rosalie, standing in front of a sign that said:

_Congratulations, Emmett and Rosalie_

_September 13__th__, 1987_

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a/n For those of you who didn't recognize the date, that's they day Bella was born. :) Hope you liked it. Review!!


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